bliss

you're missed, and there is a void. like an empty cup, a big ol' hazel brown one. like your beautiful huge dark eyes. the cup, missing it's cheetos, jalapenos flavored ones because those are like your favorite ever. not really you hated them. I just realize that i need you more than ever, and i think you feel the same. or well, you did.
I DON'T BLAME YOU FOR HATING ME.
I seriously don't blame you for going to her. Or never wanting to talk to me again. I caused you so much pain, yet then again you caused me so much agony and pain. Most people wouldn't blame me for never looking your way again. But I look down your dirt road often, wondering if heading your way would be worth the new shoes I'd have to buy chasing after you again. Or more like, is it worth getting my heart ripped into pieces again? Blarg, I hate making choices. More or less I hate the outcomes.
Everyone ends up getting fuckedd.

Please take this pain away.
Someone.
Anyone. >.O
I only have relief once a day for a few seconds. Those few brief bliss moment when you wake up. After a good dream.. You're like "DAMN, that was a weird dream.." then you smile slightly, even a tug at the lips. Then, bam. It hits you, like a bug in the back of the head when you're outside staring at the grass. Kind of knocks you back into reality. Wakes you up. It's the world knocking with two orders of reality and a side dessert dish of 'suck this'..

Oh and,
whattheecrap.
So I introduce you to her
and bam.
wtfwtffffff.
Lies.
AZNS.

My head swirls as much as my stomach nowdays.. Can't help but wonder how much longer I can hang onto the edge. Dying is so easy, Living is the hard one. You make me so weak, I want to die. I use to be so strong, dude what happened?
This blog went stupid and limp noodlish.
I think I shall stop on the note that
the man I love is ignoring me for an azn and slowly
losing me.
k.