quotes from my friends and me

"Oh lawd, I have a pale, scrawny ass." -Sumner Coy.

"There is no one lurking in my butthole!" -Andrew Prince.

"shenis. i want your penis." -Karla Yingst.

"What can I say? I'm out of the blue. Like a mermaid." -Jake Betts.

"Tell them you made love to the second coming of Jesus." -Sumer Coy.

"My dad is watching Lifetime..again." -Shena.
"I guess he likes to watch women get beat." -Lindsey Parks.

"id tag team you with....myself?
you wouldnt let me tag team you with myself? id stop, give myself a high five and start again." - Andy Hampton.

"We cannot kill David. He will only get stronger if we try to kill him..." -Andy Hampton.
"Yes, I will only get stronger." -David Hampton.

"PUNCH BILLY IN THE CHEST!" -Trevor Panhorst.
[but seriously guys...DON'T. O_O He'll dieeeeeeeeeee.]

"you wanna see my would?" -Cody Westbrook.

"Incest is the best put yo cousin to the test" -Cody Westbrook.

"Why would we go back to your house?" -Billy Lamb.
"andy is meeting us here with pannies" -Shena.
"...Fluffy ones?" - Billy Lamb.
"trevor ones" -Shena.
"OH." -Billy Lamb.

*talking about beck*
"He looks kind of like a sailor." -Sumner Coy.
"Yeah his outfit is nice." -Shena.
"he's a cutie." -Shena.
"Indeed." -Sumner Coy.

"I went out there and got raped by mosquitoes." -Jessica Doogan.

"I LOVE LIL BOYZ" -Shena.
"I SEE WHERE YOUR GOING WIT DIS.
YOU WANNA PLAY WIT MY GIBLETS." -Andy Hampton.
" ._. ears?" -Shena.

"id give you a lap dance on webcam, but you dont have one, sorry." -Andy Hampton.

"will you stick markers in my vag?" -Andy Hampton.

"if i ever kill myself
you are going in my suicide note." -Andy Hampton.

"I kinda got burnt today workin' in the sun." -Cody Westbrook.
"O_O NIGGGA PEELIN?" -Shena.
"noope. I swear I wish slavery was back." -Cody Westbrook.
"slavery gets shit done." -Shena.
"id be fucking just siting whippin' hoes
and drinkin' koolaid
eating chicken
and eating watermellon." -Cody Westbrook.
"watermellon." -Shena.
"yeye
lmao
they wouold be like crying
OMGGGGGGGG
I WANT THAT CHIVCEKN
LOL." -Cody Westbrook.
"cryfap cryfap." -Shena.
"LLOL
it would be like motavation." -Cody Westbrook.
"Freedom < Chicken." -Shena.
"every day the one with the least whip marks gets a piece.
more whips marks = you didnt work hard." -Cody Westbrook.
"LOL." -Both.
"id be like havin' houses build and shit." -Cody Westbrook.
"slave houses
for more slaves." -Shena.
"psh
they would have ditches. niggaz bee sleepin in ditches.." -Cody Westbrook.
"building underground raiilroads leading out into a huge cliff full of water." -Shena.
"LOL." -Cody Westbrook.
"because nigz can't swim or float." -Shena
"yea." -Cody Westbrook.
"Noah comes,
floods them out." -Shena.
"just build there little house around a pond.
that incircles them
WTF
why didnt they fucking do that in the first place." -Cody Westbrook.
"LOL." -both.
"OMG LOL." -Cody Westbrook.
"they have babies and adapt to swimming.
become black dolphins." -Shena.
"there babys come out as fish." -Cody Westbrook.

"we just covered the whole circle of life within that quote." -Cody Westbrook.

"LOL i have panty hoes on." -Cody Westbrook.

"dress up as jabba the hutt then. I dress up like the princess, you can keep me on the chain..." -Andy Hampton.

dream number two

I opened my eyes to find myself standing in very classy hotel, besides that I didn't know my location. There were masses of people scattering about going to their rooms. I had no idea the hotel could hold that many people, now that I think about it there were hundreds and hundreds of people. I stood in the lobby slightly bent over by my mother who was sitting in a soft chair. A group of four guys walked by, looking quite distinct from the rest of the people in this place. They all wore pretty fancy suits that a lawyer would wear. But they looked my age, give or take two to three years. They eyed me as much as I eyed them, then they pasted I shrugged it off and looked at the rest of the people. Then suddenly I felt a sharp pat then a really painful grab on my ass. I turned around to find one of the guys snickering as he disappear into the crowd with the other three. I flipped him off but no one noticed. I got a good look at him though. Shorter black hair, light blueish green like eyes. Not too tall. He pinched rather hard, I was pretty discontent. I turned back to my mom and told her what had happen. She laughed. I ran off to find where they might have went, I just got stuck in a huge crowd of people so close you could barely squeeze through. I noticed the guys somewhat far away, then my cousin. She was getting a room here also.
It was later in the day when I noticed this hotel was very unusual. It had stairs going up to a floor. Then a hallway that made a weird square, but slanted so it went up continuously to the top floor. Yet the rooms weren't uneven for some reason. I walked up the stairs then began walking down the halls. I looked into some of the open rooms. They were really really small. Like 10 by 12 ft rooms. Some of the rooms had a bed, a huge mirror and a huge window with a small balcony outside. Others had a mirror and a weird booth with a table. I looked into the rooms that all were seemingly empty at the time. Weird to me, I kept walking and walking to the top. The top floors doors were all closed but one. The last door down the hall on the left was open. I peeked inside to see an odd mirror that was wavy, and had a weird brown design. It moved sort of. There was a small orange sheeted bed and a balcony with a huge window. I walked to the mirror. I touched it. My fingers went through. I climbed in.
It was very dark outside, and it seemed I was in the swamps. I stepped off an old porch and looked around at the high grass next to a swampy river leading to a mosh. I then heard a girl behind me. She had long blonde hair and smiled to me.
"We have to catch him." She said.
I turned and looked around, I saw no one to catch out here. The moon was shining rather bright now, reflecting off her serious face.
Suddenly I was a rather large moose. She stood looking up at me, suddenly a larger large dog appeared by her side. It was black and white.
"You will be a distraction to the demon while he kills him off." She said patting the dog.
I looked at the dog then nodded.
"Demon?" I said nodding.
"In wolf form." She said.
I trotted out into the grass. My antlers were rather huge,, I could probably pull my own against this wolf. Suddenly another moose appeared near me, for some reason I kept thinking pink. It was apparently my mother moose. Suddenly grass began swishing beside me. The blonde chick's dog ran to my side, looking alert.
I moo'd. Or whatever moose's do. Suddenly the dog ran off to fight the wolf demon, it was the last I saw of that dog. Suddenly I turned to see the other moose go down. And the wolf getting ontop of the huge moose and began ripping her skull from the skin that surrounded it. She began talking to it. I faded out..
I stood in the room with the weird mirror and bed. I turned, and ran for my dear life out of there. People were in the hallway now. I ran around them, and went downstairs to my room where my parents where.
I found myself standing in the lobby again, this time in a dark midnight blue evening gown and my hair was rather short and curled. My blue eyes shined as I looked around the room. I had no idea why I was dressed like this, a few people were. Suddenly I felt someone near to me. I turned to see a black haired fellow looking at me. His eyes glided over my body, then returned to my eyes. His mouth tugged a faint calm smile. He looked rather charming for a pervert. His eyes were beautiful. I found myself stepping closer to him without realizing it. Suddenly he looked at me, then turned walking towards the stairs. I automatically followed, turning my head once looking behind me. Then we were up the stairs. He locked his arm with mine.
"Have you been up here before?" He asked. His voice was familiar and calm.
"Yeah. Not really a good experience with that though." I said looking at him.
We stared at each other, then looked away in unison. I looked into the once empty rooms. They were filled. With unusual people. The farther we walked the weirder it got. In one of the booth rooms, a man sat with his arms around two women. His mouth grinning rather big, eyes seemed red. Other rooms people were just giant brown ghost like creatures. I then learned to just keep looking forward or to this fine young fellow. We turned the corner to the highest floor. The doors were all closed but one. The last. I paused a second then continued to walk with him. We went into the room, he closed the door. Letting go of my arm he went and laid down on the bed, putting his arms behind his head. He sat up sort of, propped by a pillow looking at me. I, of course, was staring at the mirror that had the same symbol as earlier. I couldn't help but think I was dreaming. I looked over at him. His eyes were basically undressing me. I went into the mirror.
He followed.
We found ourselves in a large paradise like lagoon. Waterfalls dripping off a large statue. There were angels everywhere. Sitting, chatting. Basking in their glory. I looked at them in awe. Then realized I was one of them. My large white wings then spread out and my pearly white skin glowed. I wore white clothes. I turned behind me, there sat a rather impish looking fellow. With black hair and red eyes. His smile was no longer there. He wore black clothes and had lifelike wolf features.
"Ah the daughter of Gabriel." Said an angel walking towards me.
If you didn't know who Gabriel was, he was an archangel for God with golden locks. I turned around again to see her. I looked at her and said nothing. She then looked over my shoulder and stared at this guy who's name I still didn't know.
She looked back at me.
Our conversation lasted for awhile and I don't remember it.
Then she said something about don't do anything you will later regret, and walked away.
I then looked to the what I guessed was a wolf demon behind me. He stood up and we began to walk around the lagoon.
"I don't understand." I said.
He didn't reply.
"I really like you." I said.
He didn't reply.
We walked and suddenly came back through the mirror.
I wasn't in my dress from earlier, yet still in my white outfit. He was in whatever he was earlier. I stared at him, then I found myself stepping closer to him and doing what I knew I shouldn't. But oh how I wanted too. I tugged at his shirt while not losing eye contact, then I pushed him onto the bed. I smiled.
And that's how this angel lost her wings and became grounded.
I woke up.

dream number one

My eyes opened to find myself in the mist of a crisis. An odd one at that. I was staring down at a woman who was naked on the floor holding her breast screaming "My breast cancer is acting up!" I blinked in confusion and wasn't sure what to do. Nurses began swarming to help her. I then realized I was Link, from Legend of Zelda. Green hat, sword, and all. But I had a whitish blue coat over my body. I was a doctor. Suddenly I found myself running around the hospital trying to find, and save, Princess Zelda.
Then my dream seemed to switch to me sitting in the back of a car with an ex. I stared at him, then at the driver and passenger, close friends. They drove me to a place where I was to work.
I woke up.

bliss

you're missed, and there is a void. like an empty cup, a big ol' hazel brown one. like your beautiful huge dark eyes. the cup, missing it's cheetos, jalapenos flavored ones because those are like your favorite ever. not really you hated them. I just realize that i need you more than ever, and i think you feel the same. or well, you did.
I DON'T BLAME YOU FOR HATING ME.
I seriously don't blame you for going to her. Or never wanting to talk to me again. I caused you so much pain, yet then again you caused me so much agony and pain. Most people wouldn't blame me for never looking your way again. But I look down your dirt road often, wondering if heading your way would be worth the new shoes I'd have to buy chasing after you again. Or more like, is it worth getting my heart ripped into pieces again? Blarg, I hate making choices. More or less I hate the outcomes.
Everyone ends up getting fuckedd.

Please take this pain away.
Someone.
Anyone. >.O
I only have relief once a day for a few seconds. Those few brief bliss moment when you wake up. After a good dream.. You're like "DAMN, that was a weird dream.." then you smile slightly, even a tug at the lips. Then, bam. It hits you, like a bug in the back of the head when you're outside staring at the grass. Kind of knocks you back into reality. Wakes you up. It's the world knocking with two orders of reality and a side dessert dish of 'suck this'..

Oh and,
whattheecrap.
So I introduce you to her
and bam.
wtfwtffffff.
Lies.
AZNS.

My head swirls as much as my stomach nowdays.. Can't help but wonder how much longer I can hang onto the edge. Dying is so easy, Living is the hard one. You make me so weak, I want to die. I use to be so strong, dude what happened?
This blog went stupid and limp noodlish.
I think I shall stop on the note that
the man I love is ignoring me for an azn and slowly
losing me.
k.

erk

....no one will understand how i feel, ever. don't even bother trying. to wake up every morning and fear facing the world. to fear walking out your door, and fear not coming back. to think anyone could kill you at any moment, and not just you but everyone you've ever know and loved. they'll all be dead someday. and i don't want that, ever..i want to love and be loved, but i'm afraid of pain and love. of being hurt. i've always wanted to be someone's one, someone's favorite person. that'll never happen. i'm afraid of that silence that comes after the statement. i'm afraid of losing those closest to me. i don't want things to change from what they are right now. sometimes i regret what i did, sometimes i am glad. who knows what the hell is going on anymore. i think without him my eyes wouldn't be quite as blue.. too bad i'm going to be happy.

When it all comes down to it, you have to ask yourself....

I am part of the cure or part of the disease?

turn back hands the time

I did it.
I broke up with my guy, to make myself 'happy'..
I had slight feelings for someone else and didn't think it'd be fair to him so I broke off. I don't want or mean to hurt him, he doesn't even understand how I feel, or how much he has hurt me. I broke his heart? Damn. He's broke mine over and over again. I can't do anything without someone being disappointed. I'm doing things for myself now.
So screw the world.

I'll write more when I'm not so angry.